Friday, February 03, 2006

Guys,Hope You Have a Sense Of Humor

Our friend Lena, who is still in the land of "Baltimorons", ya know, Hon, Balmer Merlin, sent me this.

One For The Ladies

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Maryland."
And they say blondes are dumb...

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

5 Comments:

Blogger Bonita said...

LOL - my brother-in-law sent me this piece, and I never posted it...it looks soooo good on your site.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Bane said...

Now that's some funny stuff, right there.

9:06 AM  
Blogger The MacBean Gene said...

Wow, Bonita and Bane comment on the same post. Save this for posterity.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous lolo said...

LOL, some of those are funny!!

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

That one's funny but thank goodness I know I can trust my hubby anyway :)

8:09 AM  
Blogger Livey said...

I love it!

4:16 PM  

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