Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Gospel According to Judas (Modern English Version)

The time: Sometime around 32 AD
The place: Somewhere on the road to Jerusalem

Jesus: Judas, come on over here, I want to ask you something and I don't want the others didn't hear.

Judas: Sure, Master.

Jesus: Ya know, Judas, we're making a not so quiet entrance into the city where they're out to get me.

Judas: I know, maybe we should do Passover in the suburbs and skip the big celebration.

Jesus: I've got this plan, but I need your help. You'll probably wind up killing yourself over it but in the meantime you'll pick up a couple pieces of silver.

Judas: So far it doesn't sound to good but after that Lazarus thing it may work out.

Jesus: Here's the plan. I think if I have myself put to death in the most cruel and barbaric way, the the rest of these few, uneducated, county guys I've chosen can write a bunch of books, show the world I'm the promised One and make millions of people believe in my message.

Judas: You know, this isn't sounding any better.

Jesus: Since the people that count don't know what I look like I need you to betray me.

Judas: Why me? You know I'm no good at that kind of thing. Pick Peter, he's always got something to say.

Jesus: Judas, your the only one I really trust to pull this off. You've been keeping our money and there's not been a shekel missing. And Peter, he'll probably say he doesn't even know me. After we do the Seder, you go get the Pharasees, meet me in the garden and give me a kiss on the cheek. I'll be arrested, tortured and crucified. Three days later I'll rise from the dead and everything will be OK.

Judas: Say what?

Jesus: Don't tell the others. Of course, you'll forever be the bad guy and no one will ever name their kid Judas again. Oh yeah, don't forget you'll probably hang yourself. But think of the great service you'll be doing mankind. That is, of course, if a couple of fishermen and the rest of these unknowns can pull this story off.

Judas: The only thing is Master, if I'd feel so bad over this thing I'd kill myself how will I know your plan worked?

Jesus: Just write your book, but you need to get it done, we haven't much time.


Blogger itsboopchile said...

Oh my, you know there are a lot of stupid people in this world who will believe this!!!
A lot of people who for some unimaginable reason hate Jesus Christ.
And a lot of people who are out to cash in on these reasons to spread such garbage for a lot of money.
Oh my!!!
There is an ending!!!

See you, Betty G

7:52 PM  

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